Today marks three days since I got here. since being diagnosed as Bipolar II, I have been feeling very hypo-manic and today was the first day since the diagnosis that I feel depressed. Not in a "I want everything to end" kind of way, but more in a "I feel helpless" kind of way. This fact terrifies me.

I wish I could travel into the future to see if everything turns out alright, but I unfortunately do not have access to a time machine (if anyone does, let me know ASAP. I would love to borrow it). Not knowing if this program will help me, is horrifying. I refuse to be dependent on my parents for the rest of my life and I feel like that is the only thing that is keeping me going.

I will come right out and say it: I'M SCARED. I'M TERRIFIED. I NEED GUIDANCE.

Sorry about the disjointed feeling of this post. I use this blog as an online journal of sorts and I write it in a "stream-of-consciousness" type of format.

xoxo, Sarah