I started the day feeling very tense. We took a walk in the woods nearby and I felt triggered for no reason. I could only walk a quarter of the distance that the other girls did. While they walked through this beautiful landscape, I sat on a rock, looking out onto a river, watching the water cascade over the rocks. In this time, I had the first panic attack I've had since being in treatment (this time). I have no idea what it was that triggered this. I have absolutely no explanation. Here I was, surrounded by beautiful landscape, crippled by anxiety.

This afternoon (like every Friday afternoon) we went bowling. Every week, we have a theme for what to put up on the scoreboard. This week was Disney characters (I was Rapunzel). We played music and we had the disco ball going (it's a lot less lame than it sounds). This was the perfect way to release the tension that I was feeling. I didn't even care about the score (I honestly don't even remember what I ended the game with). I just let go of all of the stress and let myself have fun.

Today was the first anxiety filled day I've had here, but it definitely won't be the last. I'm learning to live in the moment and just let it go (go ahead. Sing it. You know I did).

Fingers crossed that tomorrow is better.

xoxo, Sarah