Today was a strange, but productive day.

I'm currently working on the pent up anger I have towards my dad in regards to our cross-country move when I was thirteen. During group, I was trying to express said anger when all emotion left my body. I essentially went numb. I couldn't feel anything. This scares me because of the fact that I've always been really in tune with my emotions. I'm naturally, a very emotional person and it isn't like me to clam up like I did.

Later in the day, we went for a walk in the woods. I've recently developed a phobia of the woods. They make me feel very closed in and claustrophobic.As I was clambering through the dense brush, I kept feeling lightheaded, a shortness of breath, my heart beating out of my chest. I almost had a panic attack, but (and I'm happy to report) I didn't. 

Next week we will be losing two of our own, one of which is the person whom I have grown the closest to in the four weeks that I've been in this program. It will be extremely difficult to watch her go, for a multitude of reasons. Namely, she lives in California; I live in Texas. Even though we have multiple outlets of communication, it will be really hard to see her go. I am, however, happy for her.

I am currently learning about how to stay in the moment. I tend to get to hung up on what's happening tomorrow, next week, next year. I'm slowly, but surely getting better at staying in the moment. I don't know exactly what will happen tomorrow, and I'm trying to make that okay.