I just had the best session with my therapist. I realized that it's not the place that's working this time, it's me. I feel like I'm actually getting better.

Don't get me wrong, the staff here is incredible and the programs are helping, but I think I'm just in a different place than I was when I was in treatment before.I'm still apprehensive about the physical part, but something happened today that has never happened to me before: I felt better after taking a walk after lunch. I actually felt better. Before lunch, I was anxious and tired. Then I took three laps around the parking lot and as I was walking back inside, I realized that I felt different; better.

I'm very nervous about the next few days. I'm scared that I'll be coasting off of today and just stop trying. The only way to stop that is to tell myself that that is not going to happen. 

I don't want to be the girl I was before: laying in bed for days on end and eating everything I could get my hands on. 

I refuse to be that person anymore.