Today has been a really trying day. I had a panic attack on our walk in the woods because it reminded me so much of my assault for whatever reason. I internalized the whole thing so nobody knew because I didn't want to seem weak. We went somewhere to get presents for our moms. And then as I was doing my chores, giving the animals water, I let the goat out of the pen accidentally. Out of frustration, I yelled at a girl who had nothing to do with it and didn't even know what happened. She just saw me crying. I apologized after I cooled off a bit but I still hate myself for it. This girl has been nothing but nice to me and we were getting really close and I just screamed at her for no reason. 

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I happen to be spending it at a spa with my mom. Speaking of my mom, I found out that my mom was in the ER today and I'm really worried about her. Luckily, my dad is awesome and was there the entire time.  She says she's fine but I know she's just trying not to worry me. 

Today was difficult, to say the least. I guess it was the world's way of testing my new lease on life and recovery. 

Due to the fact that I will be out with my mom tomorrow, I'm allowed to have my phone. Feel free to text me or contact me via social media. I just thought I would put that out there so that anyone that wants to reach out, can.

Also, you should know that I'm only allowed to have my phone when I'm out without any of the facility staff. I'll only have it for around four hours in the afternoon. 

Thanks for listening/reading/allowing me to vent.